Thursday, October 18, 2012

Overwhelmed new mom with colicky baby

I’m a new mom and I’m totally swamped. I know that all new babies cry a lot, but my little boy seems to be crying all the time. I change him, I feed him, it doesn’t seem to help. The doctor just said it was colic and to wait it out, but it can’t be the right thing to do. Sometimes it feels like my heart is breaking and other times I think I’m going to pull my hair out. What do I do?

Colic is often a term used to generalize uncontrollable crying, and it has no medical cause. Yes, it can be caused by gas in a the stomach, but that can also be caused by the crying. It is said to be caused by stress sometimes, but then nothing is more stressful than a crying baby. Round and round the argument goes, and when a cycle like that begins I like to start looking for a different Source.
First, I suggest looking at our babies anew. Infants have come from a wonderful place. Before acquiring bodies, they were pure, positive spirit, who knew no pain, no contrast, no separation. In the womb they started getting a sense of what the world was about, through hearing and instinctual feelings from what we were radiating to the outside world. They sensed worry, stress and chaos, but still it was as an observer. Their basic needs were still tended to (thank you placenta) and then birth happened. Depending on the sort of birth you had, and whether it was traumatic or not, this can often be the first contrasting experience to what they’ve known. That’s alright, contrast is really what we’ve all come for, so we can define ourselves, what we want, and grow and expand. If birth wasn’t the first contrast, than the first hunger pain or dirty diaper will be. It’s a rough start and for some spirits/babies too much to handle. Therefore, in my mind, there are times in the day, or all day, when crying out for what use to be is the only solution.
So, how do we help our infants connect back to what they knew, and close the gap to Who They Really Are? It’s hard when a crying baby and feeling so tired can have us disconnected from ourselves as well. I find a change of scene, going for a walk outside for instance helps. Avoid talking to other people as a distraction for yourself, or even Facebook on your iphone. Put focus on creating a safe feeling environment for your baby. If there was music you listened to when pregnant, put that on, if you meditated when pregnant or did focus work, even for birth, do that. Create a familiar feeling within yourself so you can radiate back and your child will sense it. Talk to your baby, point out things you love. They are never too young to hear your voice and connect with you, we often talk to them when they are inside of us, and they are used to the sound of our voice. Therefore, sing, laugh, make yourself feel better, and take them for the ride, reminding them of the mere weeks before when they weren’t in the outside world.
The outside world’s feeling space can often be fast paced and frantic, it’s simply too much to handle for a small babe, therefore, shut it out, for yourself as well. Cut out newspapers and TV news for a bit and be aware of how they affect you. Your baby senses it. Breathe and relax and know that this is a process your baby has to go through; it’s the next step in physicalization.
So, make it an easier transition. You too are in transition as you get to know your new family member. LOVE, love, love and breathe. Carry her around with you through the worst of it, and when you can’t muster up better feeling thoughts/feelings, ask for help from the most secure person you know. Remind them it’s not just about carrying the load, it’s about radiating positivity and showing a baby love and understanding when they are feeling a little too far away from home.

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