Your daughter knows how close you’ve been together and in time she will want that bond again. However as parents we sometimes forget that we have to grow with our children, otherwise, quite honestly, they leave us in the dust. With 9 years of experience, your daughter has been observing life, getting a feel for it, feeling what’s off, what feels good, what she likes and what she doesn’t, now she’s beginning to feel confident in her choices and wanting to create a sacred space for herself. At a certain point, we all have to trust our children with the choices they make, only being the example of what we believe and offering subconscious alternatives if we think they are acting from a place of disconnection. By subconscious alternatives I mean offering up opportunities to experience things from a perspective that feels good to you, although we have to allow them to not feel good to our children all the time. I find that certain movies, chosen on a feeling space place rather than making “a point” is a good energy shift, or even just talking about something you are passionate about, experiences you had that made you feel good, and keeping her part of your life, even if right now, she needs you to be a bit in the dark about hers.
The most important thing I find is to come from a clear perspective ourselves. As a parent heads into dealing with teenage years, it’s easy to jump into fear based thinking “what are they up to” and going into stereotypical parental panic. Often it seems that parents forget their pre-teens and teens are still the same people as they were when they were born. They have the same essence. When we get connected to our truest selves, to our Source, when we feel like our true essence we can see our children at their deepest level as Who They Really Are. Then we can simply offer up the request to help in any way we can, if help is needed at all, and also the request to know how to be the parent our children need at this new age. Requests made on a deeper level like this are acted on quickly, as we open ourselves to seeing solutions rather than stick to focusing on the problems.
Trust your daughter, trust who she really is, and see her in that light. When she feels you seeing her on that level, than she will feel more comfortable opening up to you with her new thoughts and emotions which may have her thinking you wouldn’t approve.